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My Bully, My Aunt, & Her Final Gift

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About The Book

“Sometimes the death of a loved one can fix your pain.”

A Funeral that turned into a Comedy show. The death of my evil aunt taught me a lot about grief, love, loss, resentments, and redemptions. After her death, I was tasked with the job of putting together a Memorial that no one wanted to attend. It’s far from being grim with laughter til the end.

In “My Bully, My Aunt, and Her Final Gift”, Harold Phifer revisits the complicated relationship he shared with his late Aunt Kathy, a woman who stood as the antithesis of positivity in his life. Despite her domineering and often cruel behavior, her passing left Harold with an unexpected opportunity for humor, healing, and reflection. As he plans her memorial—a gathering that no one seems eager to attend—Harold’s childhood memories resurface, pulling him back into a world shaped by his aunt’s unpredictable rules and twisted philosophies. Blending heartfelt truths with laugh-out-loud moments, Harold weaves a tale of resilience, self-discovery, and ultimately, redemption. This memoir offers a lighthearted yet honest look at how even the darkest relationships can leave behind gifts of wisdom and self-awareness.

About The Author

Picture of Harold Phifer

Harold Phifer

Harold Phifer was born in the rebellious South of Columbus, Mississippi. As a kid, he worked the streets, hustled the neighbors, and bust tables at bars he didn’t belong in. After walking the stage at Caldwell High School, he went own to graduate from Mississippi State and Jackson State Universities respectively. Then he started his career as an Air Traffic Controller in Memphis, Tennessee. However, he was never at peace with himself. So, after 23 years, he left the United States and took a job as an International Contractor. Working with soldiers gave him a sense of duty and purpose. However, it all came with a price and experiences he wasn’t prepared for. As luck would have it, he got expelled out of Iraq due to the U S Military Drawdown in October 2011. Later, he resurfaced in Afghanistan for 8 additional years as a mercenary. But unfortunately, he was forced to leave that country after The Taliban takeover in August 2021. After escaping with his life, he took a position under the safety of Guantanamo Bay Naval base. Here, he wrote more books and continued to work as an Air Traffic Controller. So, in 2024, he left Cuba on his own accord then returned to the Middle East. Meantimes, he’s still creating stories about adventure, love, life, and the human spirit. 

Reader Reviews

Reviewed by Craig Jones for IndieReader
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"Survivors of abuse find various ways of coping with and processing their experiences. Author Harold Phifer endured what he describes as a “sick, twisted, and formative relationship” with his aunt Kathy, so a memoir of his childhood was the result—one that uses wry humor to sustain the reader through some grim episodes. The impetus for Phifer’s MY BULLY, MY AUNT, AND HER FINAL GIFT was his aunt’s death at the age of 96, the news of which came to him while in Afghanistan on contractor work. She was a fire-and-brimstone sort. Much of Phifer’s early childhood was spent moving back and forth between his psychotic-presenting mother’s broken-down shotgun shack and his aunt’s three-bedroom house, where she would beat him—on one occasion, with a broomstick on a baseball field—work him in the vegetable patch for no wages, and instill the fear of God into him. According to Phifer, she spent her time “destroying lives and tormenting families” and “was bitter to be alive and happy if she died.” Phifer has a good ear for the arresting description, particularly where people are involved. The pastor of his hometown is “God-in-a-bottle” to his parishioners; Sister Gertrude, “twice as big as a man,” would regularly lapse into reveries and become uncontrollable during church services; and so on. The laidback writing style is, however, combined with a tendency to freely italicize words and phrases, such that emphasis is supplied at peculiar junctures. This, as well as some mechanical errors (in the way of missing or misplaced punctuation points and the odd spelling mistake), is distracting and takes the gloss off the presentation a little. However, Phifer’s is a touching memoir, if only because of the honesty with which he describes the myriad ways in which he coped with a mentally ill mother and an abusive aunt. As so many children do in such situations, he managed one and kept on the right side of the other as far as he was able, shrugging his shoulders as best he could when his elder brother Jerry was forgiven his demeanors while Phifer was made to pay for his. Parents and guardians playing favorites is the pits, but Phifer emerged intact. It is no small feat, and readers will find themselves cheering his younger self on. Harold Phifer’s MY BULLY, MY AUNT, AND HER FINAL GIFT offers a humorous and touching memoir of an abusive childhood in America’s Deep South."
Reviewed by Readerom
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"My latest read, "My Bully, My Aunt, and Her Final Gift" by Harold Phifer, is a powerful narrative set in an emotional background. It will potentially take you deep into the complexities of family scenarios and the tabooed topic of undeniable bullying. The story pictures Hal and his aunt's relentless bullying, which might seem utterly despicable at times, but the author has made sure to keep you on your tips with some compelling twists. The readers would further explore the harsh realities of problematic homes marked by uninvolved parents. The descriptive and authentic storytelling that engraves tough topics makes the book a must-read for anyone who values genuine narratives. The author has done a commendable job of sprinkling humour despite all the chaos and drama. The storyline aptly blends the themes of redemption, personal growth, relationship dynamics and forgiveness with robust storytelling. This read was an emotional whirlwind, with raw and relatable instances centred on light and humorous backgrounds. I recommend! Pick your read and enjoy it!"
Reviewed by Pikasho Deka for Readers’ Favorite
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"Inspired by his own life, My Bully, My Aunt, & Her Final Gift is a hilarious comedy-drama novella by Harold Phifer. Stationed in Kabul, Afghanistan, Hal receives an unexpected phone call from Pastor Keith of the Zion Gate Union Baptist Church in Columbus, Mississippi, informing him that his Aunt Kathy has passed away. Pastor Keith further explains that he is doing Aunt Kathy's eulogy and needs Hal's help during the funeral service to ensure she finds the passage to heaven. But Hal's experiences with Aunt Kathy were completely different as his alcoholic older brother, Jerry, used to be the apple of her eye. As Hal attends the funeral, he goes down memory lane and relives his past experiences with Aunt Kathy, eventually receiving an unexpected gift after he realizes that he must move on. Harold Phifer tells an entertaining tale with a generous dose of dark humor and drama. My Bully, My Aunt, & Her Final Gift demonstrates how the past has a way of shaping a person's entire outlook toward life and relationships. The story is hilarious, featuring a protagonist who never misses a moment to make fun of all the absurdity surrounding him, whether through his witty quips or monologues laden with sarcasm. Hal is likable and easy to sympathize with. I loved how he took charge of the congregation during the service. Aunt Kathy is this larger-than-life character who affects people's lives even after her death. I also enjoyed the dynamic between the three brothers and their different personalities. Overall, it's a breezy read that's bound to get a few chuckles out of you."
Reviewed by David Jaggart for Readers’ Favorite
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"In My Bully, My Aunt, and Her Final Gift, author Harold Phifer merges fictional and non-fictional events to depict a compelling narrative of his life. The story commences in Afghanistan, where Harold is stationed. Years prior, he left Mississippi in a bid to escape his old life--and his Aunt Kathy. After receiving an unnerving phone call from Pastor Keith, informing him of his aunt's passing, Harold half-heartedly travels to Mississippi to offer his assistance at her memorial. As these events unfold, he recalls his childhood memories, overshadowed by poverty and his mother’s prolonged battle with schizophrenia. Unfortunately, these events paled in comparison to his Aunt Kathy's intense contempt and control over Harold's family life, which extended to their local church and its members. Nevertheless, her passing provides him with the much-needed opportunity to confront his painful past. My Bully, My Aunt, and Her Final Gift by Harold Phifer is a visceral read that explores the author's volatile formative years and his path to closure in great detail. In a narrative sprinkled with touches of irony and humor, Harold dauntlessly reveals the scars of his childhood to readers. The overt ridicule and never-ending hostility he experienced at the hands of his aunt were hard to stomach but necessary for readers to put themselves in his shoes. His narrative is both uplifting and heart-rending as he traverses through the intricacies of his past with openness and candor. Harold's willingness to explore those unpleasant memories--and share them with us--is admirable. His path to self-assurance and inner healing is a testimony to the resilience of the human spirit. This intriguing book will offer comfort to persons facing their own unique challenges. I highly recommend this read."
Reviewed by Leonard Smuts for Readers’ Favorite
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"To say that Hal led a troubled life would be an understatement. His mother suffered from a mental illness and was unstable. As a result, his overbearing aunt played a major, yet destructive, role in his upbringing. Aunt Kathy was a devout Christian, but her deeds contradicted Christian love and compassion. She embodied undesirable traits that included being manipulative, stubborn, sadistic, and illogical, as well as being judgmental and a poor cook into the bargain. Aunt Kathy favored Hal's older brother Jerry, who could do no wrong in her eyes. It is into this cauldron of dysfunction that Harold Phifer places Hal, a child trying to survive his family, in My Bully, My Aunt, and Her Final Gift. Hal reflects on his childhood, from Christmas to Easter events, and his first years at school. Sibling rivalry added to the toxic mix. He took up baseball and the Boy Scouts, but Aunt Kathy went out of her way to destroy his dreams. In adulthood, he escaped to far-off Afghanistan, only to be called home to be a key speaker at his aunt’s funeral. This brought him into contact with his errant brothers and the larger-than-life Pastor Keith, evoking memories that he would prefer to keep buried. Good comedy often incorporates an underlying air of pathos, and Harold Phifer captures this perfectly, blending it with elements of irony, nostalgia, trauma, and humor, as all the while Hal endured tyranny and searched for a better life without his aunt. His writing captures the ethos of a bygone era, tinged with the unhappiness of a dysfunctional upbringing on the wrong side of the tracks. The result is an evocative reflection on childhood, made all the more real by it being based on a real-life situation. The charismatic church and its overly zealous members played a prominent role but with an underlying streak of hypocrisy. The interplay between Pastor Keith and Aunt Kathy revealed the darker side of religion with its facades and double standards. Family relationships are dissected. The burial service swung from religious fervor to farce, degenerating into chaos as Hal’s brothers got up to their usual disruptive tricks. Funerals always beg the question as to whether tributes should speak ill of the dead or be honest. My Bully, My Aunt, and Her Final Gift explores Hal’s dilemma in a quirky, amusing, and poignant manner that is highly entertaining and uplifting. Would Hal’s tribute to his aunt be one of rejection or redemption? An amusing and engrossing work!"
Reviewed by Kelsey Hall
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"For those who enjoy memoirs with a mix of dark humor, emotional depth and razor-sharp wit, this book is a must-read. Harold Phifer’s My Bully, My Aunt, and Her Final Gift is a refreshingly honest, darkly humorous, and unexpectedly heartfelt memoir that masterfully balances comedy and introspection. With sharp wit and a candid narrative style, Phifer takes readers on a journey through his complicated past, shaped by the formidable presence of his Aunt Kathy — a woman who left an undeniable mark on his life, for better or worse. From the very first page, Phifer draws readers into his world with a compelling mix of laugh-out-loud absurdity and poignant reflection. The story centers on Hal, who receives news of his aunt’s passing while stationed in Afghanistan. As he returns home to Mississippi to organize a funeral that no one is particularly eager to attend, Hal finds himself transported back into a whirlwind of childhood memories — memories dominated by his aunt’s unpredictable rules, biting criticisms, and overbearing influence. Yet, despite her oppressive nature, her passing forces Hal to confront unresolved emotions, leading him toward an unexpected journey of healing and redemption.
Family & Funerals
What makes My Bully, My Aunt, and Her Final Gift such a remarkable read is Phifer’s ability to find humor in even the darkest situations. Whether it’s the sheer chaos of Aunt Kathy’s funeral or the hilariously inappropriate behavior of family members, the book never fails to deliver moments of comic relief. Yet, beneath the humor lies a deeply introspective narrative that explores the complexity of family bonds, the scars left by difficult relationships, and the surprising ways in which we find closure. Phifer’s writing shines in his portrayal of messy, real-life family dynamics. His dialogue is sharp and natural, making every interaction feel authentic. The dynamic between Hal and his brothers adds another layer of depth to the story, offering moments of both tension and camaraderie. Aunt Kathy, despite her domineering nature, is painted as a fully realized character — flawed, maddening, and larger than life. Even in death, her presence looms over the story, making her an unforgettable force.
A Delicate Balance
One of the book’s greatest strengths is its pacing. The story moves effortlessly between past and present, keeping the reader engaged with well-placed twists and revelations. Just when the narrative threatens to become too heavy, Phifer’s humor steps in to lighten the mood, making for a highly readable and enjoyable experience. Beyond the laughter and sarcasm, My Bully, My Aunt, and Her Final Gift offers a profound meditation on resilience, self-discovery, and making peace with the past. It reminds us that even the most difficult relationships can leave us with unexpected lessons and, sometimes, even a final gift. For readers who enjoy memoirs with a mix of dark humor, emotional depth and razor-sharp wit, this book is a must-read. Phifer’s storytelling is as entertaining as it is thought-provoking, making My Bully, My Aunt, and Her Final Gift a standout in the genre."
Reviewed by Priscilla Evans, Managing Editor for Literary Titan
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"Harold Phifer’s My Bully, My Aunt, and Her Final Gift is an unfiltered, brutally honest reflection on his tumultuous relationship with Aunt Kathy, an overbearing, larger-than-life figure who left an undeniable mark on his life. The book weaves between past and present, recounting stories of trauma, manipulation, and resilience. Through humor, raw emotion, and biting wit, Phifer paints a vivid picture of a childhood filled with contradictions and his aunt’s relentless bullying juxtaposed with her unwavering Christian devotion. It all comes to a head when he’s called upon to eulogize the very woman who tormented him, forcing him to reckon with a past that never really let him go. Phifer’s storytelling is electric. His words don’t tiptoe around the truth; they stomp in, slam doors, and demand attention. The book kicks off with a scene in war-torn Afghanistan, setting the stage for a life lived in extremes. Right away, his descriptions pull you into the chaotic streets, the noise, and the unpredictability of a place far removed from his Mississippi roots. And yet, it’s Aunt Kathy’s death that rattles him most. The way he describes her resilience, having “survived assaults, coronaries, fevers, famines, plagues, pandemics, strokes, and global warming for almost 100 years,” is equal parts hilarious and horrifying. You can’t help but laugh, even as you sense the deep scars she left behind. What makes this book stand out is Phifer’s ability to balance pain with humor. He doesn’t just tell you that Aunt Kathy was overbearing; he shows you through her actions. Whether it’s her religious fanaticism, her disdain for the very people she claimed to serve, or the way she manipulated family dynamics, her presence looms large on every page. And yet, he finds absurdity in the tragedy. Take, for example, the moment when the pastor calls to inform him of her death. Phifer’s initial reaction isn’t grief; it’s disbelief that Aunt Kathy's indestructible force is finally gone. That kind of honesty is what makes the book so compelling. It’s not sugarcoated. It’s not polished for the sake of sentimentality. It’s real. Beyond the humor and sharp commentary, the book carries a deep emotional weight. Phifer doesn’t just recount his struggles; he confronts them. The tension with his brothers, the absence of genuine familial support, and the impact of generational trauma are all laid bare. The scenes leading up to Aunt Kathy’s funeral are particularly powerful. His struggle to reconcile his feelings, the absurdity of having to publicly praise someone who made his life miserable, and the chaotic nature of the funeral itself feel almost cinematic. He captures the dysfunction of family dynamics with an unflinching eye, making the book as much about survival as it is about storytelling. My Bully, My Aunt, and Her Final Gift is for readers who appreciate memoirs that don’t shy away from the messiness of life. If you enjoy books with dark humor, raw honesty, and a narrator who tells it like it is, this one’s for you. It’s a wild, emotional, often hilarious ride through the complexities of family, faith, and finding peace in unexpected places. Phifer doesn’t ask for sympathy. He just lays it all out and lets the reader decide what to take from it. And in doing so, he’s crafted a memoir that lingers long after the last page."

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My Bully, My Aunt, & Her Final Gift

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